P.S. Just because I now live in a state full of hipsters and movie stars doesn't mean that I no longer make stupid faces on camera.
If you recall, I was sharing with y'all a little bit about my new church family and "Everlasting," the youth group at that church that I am currently beginning to work with. My search for a church and a Christian community out here in California has been....well...challenging. Clearly, anytime that you move to a new place, you face challenges with making new friends in general and getting plugged in at a new church, but this time I faced a whole new set of challenges that I hadn't anticipated.
You see, I am technically considered to have a faculty position at Cal Poly, even though I am only a 12-month lecturer. I am surrounded by students on a daily basis. This quarter I am teaching three classes, coaching the western, hunt seat, and dressage teams at Cal Poly, and (this is not an exaggeration) approximately 100-200 students come through the horse unit every day. Case in point, I come into contact with a lot of students on a weekly basis.
Being in a semi-college town, almost every church that I tried out had college ministry programs, but no where that I could get connected with a community where I could separate myself from the college students. Its not that I don't love undergrads, but it is really important to protect your "student/teacher" relationship, and I was worried that by getting involved in a college focused group (as a member, not in a leadership position) that I would be putting myself in a potentially questionable area where that "student/teacher" relationship might get damaged.
This process left me very frustrated for a few months. I was really, really thirsty for becoming part of a new Christian community out here, and kept coming up dry. And then I realized why I was coming up dry: I was trying to find a church that fit my wants.... Instead I needed to be seeking a church that fit my needs (i.e. one that is rooted in scripture and truth, not hypocrisy and worldly things) , but also provided the best opportunity for me to serve with the gifts and talents that God created me with.....which involves taking a very honest look at yourself.
Have you ever sat down and taken a good, hard look at yourself? I mean a really good, thorough examination of your character? I'm not talking about thinking about the person that you wish you were, or the person that you think you are, or the person that shows up when other people are around. I mean you. The real deal. The strengths and flaws that your character naturally has at its best and at its worst.
I think that many people are overly critical of themselves and do this too much, but personally, I'm really bad at it. I think I'm so scatterbrained that sometimes I legitimately just forget to assess where I am. So, when I started to meet with Ryan, the youth pastor in charge of "Everlasting," we began talking about what my gifts and talents are, and how I saw myself using them in the church.
Initially, after some thought and prayer on the subject, I came up with what I have kind of always thought to be some of my gifts (ex: being able to converse easily/form relationships easily with people, public speaking, teaching, etc.), and thought that I was set to go, preparing myself to have the same role in this youth group that I had at RiverView.
When I hung out with the kids on a Weds night for the first time, I quickly came to the realization that I was not going to have quite the same role here that I had at RiverView for various reasons, so I was a little taken aback by this. Not in a negative way at all, but in a way that is requiring me to take another good, hard look at myself and what unique gifts I can bring to this group. It is making me step out of my talent "comfort zone" that I had established pretty securely over the past two years.
I realized that I had kind of gotten stuck just "going through the motions" at things that I knew God had given me talent for, and had stopped asking for other avenues to use to love people. And you know what the cool thing about this is? If you just ASK Him to show you undiscovered gifts, He will! I am learning so much about myself that I didn't even know was there in only two weeks time. Its pretty exciting to look at yourself in a different way.
As people, I think we naturally gravitate towards the few things that we know we do well, and we get comfortable there, because it is rewarding and we know that we are skilled and confident in those few areas. But I want to challenge you to take another look at an area that you may have been nervous to explore before for fear of stepping out of your comfort zone. You never know what other incredible gifts you have been given or talents that you have that are just waiting for an opportunity to come out and be used! It would be a shame to lose a great opportunity to grow in love just because you get too comfortable.
Food for Thought:
Long distance relationships are hard.
Monitor your pets weight....please. Fat critters aren't cute; they are unhealthy.
"There is no limit to the creativity of God to make a new heart inside of you"- Steven Furtick
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